Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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