Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize