Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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