He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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