Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
