if i can run in heels then i can drive
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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