its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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