During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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