I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
