i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
