Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.

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(336): i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night. http://tfl.nu/mqbm

Replies (18) Good night (798) Bad night (3483)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her

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(608): Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her http://tfl.nu/en5u

Replies (48) Good night (2611) Bad night (3276)
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(907): View more from Alaska

i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....

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(907): i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine.... http://tfl.nu/xp53

Replies (28) Good night (2029) Bad night (4422)
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(303): View more from Colorado

she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip

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(303): she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip http://tfl.nu/86nj

Replies (20) Good night (4184) Bad night (938)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.

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(413): You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/uoqp

Replies (49) Good night (1372) Bad night (4978)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.

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(314): I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time. http://tfl.nu/5nj6

Replies (28) Good night (1662) Bad night (3701)
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(705): View more from Ontario

She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.

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(705): She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air. http://tfl.nu/d5pp

Replies (10) Good night (4422) Bad night (728)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut

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(215): i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut http://tfl.nu/7c6t

Replies (19) Good night (5665) Bad night (1200)
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(315): View more from New York

some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.

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(315): some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad. http://tfl.nu/fabc

Replies (7) Good night (1422) Bad night (2258)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.

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(+44): I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly. http://tfl.nu/kesy

Replies (11) Good night (2364) Bad night (601)
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(713): View more from Texas

My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal

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(713): My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal http://tfl.nu/z8hr

Replies (6) Good night (1703) Bad night (535)
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(519): View more from Ontario

True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior

(226): View more from Ontario

Little bit of both

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(519): True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior (226): Little bit of both http://tfl.nu/0xgz

Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (215)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"

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(586): Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh" http://tfl.nu/2zz2

Replies (16) Good night (1547) Bad night (205)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

You're such a Yankee.

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(401): He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable. (508): You're such a Yankee. http://tfl.nu/y54r

Replies (0) Good night (563) Bad night (192)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.

(423): View more from Tennessee

I will have no part of this.

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(423): I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down. (423): I will have no part of this. http://tfl.nu/im0o

Replies (2) Good night (257) Bad night (684)

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