Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
