i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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