best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the day after is always just damage control
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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