My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
