Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
