We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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