So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
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Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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