Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
