Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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