how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
