i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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