did you get engaged???
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
