i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
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Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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