I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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