I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
