im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
