Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
