You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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