We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Too much gin, very little bucket
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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