tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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