Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think my moral compass just broke
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
