Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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