I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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