i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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