Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
