So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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