I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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