from now on my penis is your penis
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
