I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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