I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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