brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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