Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
