How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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