ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
