you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
this will be a night to untag.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
