No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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