Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
