I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
