:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
