there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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