just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
