I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
