So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
