you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
