He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
