It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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