we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
