I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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