What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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