im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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