The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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