Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
