my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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