i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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