Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
