You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
