Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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