I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
