She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Randomize
