Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
